you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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