Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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