I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
