My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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