I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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