Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
