Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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