i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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