I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
