Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
