we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i came on her dog
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
