so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
