did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
