my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
