We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think i got beer on your cat.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
