So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
