did you get engaged???
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
