Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
