i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i dont even know how to be here
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
