with your own penis?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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