K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
