You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
