Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
