Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
