What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
