I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
