I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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