Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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