Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
