I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
