My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
