Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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