His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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