i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
