; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
