The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
