Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
