I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
