Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
