girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
