I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
