Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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