Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
