Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
