Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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