I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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