Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
