Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
