When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
