we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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