I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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