just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
