Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
