She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
