He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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